Cat Haiku

 You never feed me. 
 Perhaps I'll sleep on your face. 
 That will sure show you. 
 
 
 You must scratch me there! 
 Yes, above my tail! 
 Behold, elevator butt. 
 
 
 The rule for today 
 Touch my tail, I shred your hand. 
 New rule tomorrow. 
 
 
 In deep sleep hear sound 
 cat vomit hairball somewhere 
 will find in morning. 
 
 
 Grace personified. 
 I leap into the window. 
 I meant to do that. 
 
 
 Blur of motion, then- 
 silence, me, a paper bag. 
 What is so funny? 
 
 
 You're always typing. 
 Well, let's see you ignore my 
 sitting on your hands. 
 
 
 My small cardboard box. 
 You cannot see me if I 
 can just hide my head. 
 
 
 Terrible battle. 
 I fought for hours. Come and see! 
 What's a 'term paper'? 
 
 
 Small brave carnivores 
 Kill pine cones and mosquitoes 
 Fear vacuum cleaner 
 
 
 I want to be close 
 to you. Can I fit my head 
 inside your armpit? 
 
 
 Wanna go outside. 
 Oh, crap! Help! I got outside! 
 Let me back inside! 
 
 
 Oh no! Big One 
 has been trapped by newspaper! 
 Cat to the rescue! 
 
 
 Humans are so strange. 
 Mine lies still in bed, then screams 
 My claws are not that sharp. 
 
 
 Cats meow out of angst 
 "Thumbs! If only we had thumbs! 
 We could break so much!" 
 
 
 The Big Ones snore now 
 Every room is dark and cold 
 Time for "Cup Hockey" 
 
 
 We're almost equals 
 I purr to show I love you 
 Want to smell my butt?