Suicide



A woman, fair of face and long of leg is standing on the G.W. Bridge
preparing to jump.  "Life is no good to me!", she thinks and steels herself
for the rush of air as she plummets to her doom.

Just then, a merchant-marine shows up, screeches to a halt and hops out of
his car.  "What are you doing?", he asks.  She responds by saying, "Life is
awful - I'm going to end it all!"

With a look of sincerest pity, the marine says, "Listen, don't jump.  I'm
about to be shipped out to the Mediteranean.  Why don't you come along with
me.  I'll stow you away on the ship, and when we get to the other side of
the ocean, I'll give you a little money to get started - you can start a
whole new life!  All I ask in return is gratuitous sex on the trip over."

The woman considers this, thinking "A new life! - for a little sex?"  Not
only would she get a new life out of the deal, but the marine IS kinda
handsome - sex won't be so bad at all.

"OK", she agreed.  And with that, the marine took her to the ship and they
left port - she, stowed-away under a lifeboat.

Every day, the marine would bring her food and water and she would perform
the gratuitous sex.  Everything was great.  But about 10 days into the
journey across the sea, the ship's captain was walking the deck when he
heard a noise from under the lifeboat.  Looking under it, he found the
beautiful woman.

"What are you doing here?", asked the captain.

"I'm sorry sir," she cried, "I'm a stow-away traveling to Europe to start a
new life.  I didn't mean to make a fool of you by hiding abord your ship."

"Me?" the captain asked.  "What about you?"

"What do you mean?" she asked.

To which the captain said, "This is the Staten Island Ferry."

 

 

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