A wallbanger followed by a couple of chasers.
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Why was Lady Di's death a tragedy?
Because the rest of the Royal Family wasn't in the back of
the car with her.
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What did Princess Di reply when the desk clerk at the Ritz asked
if she wanted a room for the night?
"No, I'm gonna crash with my boyfriend."
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What's the difference between Diana and Tiger Woods?
Tiger has a good driver.
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If Diana's heart was in the right place, why was it found in
the glove compartment?
-------
Yesterday a ferryboat leaving Haiti capsized and drowned 300
people.
But a tragedy was avoided when they discovered no princesses
were
on board.
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Did you hear about the new fairy tale for kids that's replacing the
Cinderella and carraige story?
It's about Diana.....at midnight, she turns into an abutment.
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It's just another example of Franco/German anti-British collaboration
that has been going on since 1914.... Surely it's no coincedence
that
the world's best-loved Englishwoman was killed by a drunken
Frenchman
driving a German tank.
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What did the Queen say when she heard Princess Diana died in a car
wreck?
Was Fergie with her?
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What kind of dress was Di wearing?
Crushed Velvet.
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Prince Charles was out early the other day walking the dog.
When a passer-by said "Morning", Charles said, "No, just walking the dog."
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What's the Queen giving Fergie for Christmas?
A trip to Paris, dinner at the Ritz, and a chauffeur-driven Mercedes.
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What did Princess Di say to Dodi after he gave her the Ring?
Aren't we moving a bit too fast?
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Why did Elton John sing at the funeral?
Because he's the only queen who cares.
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What is the difference between leeches and the paparazzi?
Leeches fall off after you die.
-------
What did the French mortuary attendant say when he got the body bags?
Zip-a-dee Dodi, Zip-a-dee Di.
-------
Why did Di die?
Because Mercedes bends
-------
Did you hear that Princess Di was on the radio a couple of weeks ago?
Yep, and on the dashboard, and on the window, and on the hood....
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Why did the tunnel in Paris get so red?
Because they got Di all over it.
-------
How did they know that the driver had dandruff?
They found his head and shoulders in the glove box.
-------
What's the difference between a Mercedes and a Porche?
Diana wouldn't be seen dead in a Porche!
-------
Dodi said to his driver when in England...
Do you want to come to Paris with me and "Di"?
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What does a mercedes and a squid have in common?
You have to cut them both open to get the "Di" out.
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What do you give the princess who has everything?
A seatbelt and an airbag.
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What's the difference between the London Ritz and the Paris Ritz?
You get mints after dinner at the London Ritz and minced after dinner at the Paris Ritz.
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How many paparazzi does it take to kill Di?
50. One to drive infront of Di and 49 to take pictures.
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What's the difference between Mother Theresa and Diana?
5 days.
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Did you see the wall Di drove into?
Neither did she.
-------
Did you hear they are going to make a movie about her?
It's going to be called "Di hard" or "Live and Let Di"
-------
Why did Elton John sing at Diana's funeral?
The Crash Test Dummies couldn't make it!
-------
What would Di be doing if she were alive today?
Scratching at the lid of her coffin.
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What do Lady Di and Pink Floyd have in common??
Their last greatest hit was the WALL.
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What does Diana and George Burns have in common?
They both died when they hit 100.
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What was Princess Diana's last words to the paparazzi?
"Leave me alone, I'm a bloody princess. You photographers drive me up the wall."
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What did Princess Diana die of?
Car-pole-tunnel syndrome.
-------
Did you hear about the new Pink Floyd album?
"Another Brit in the Wall"
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When Prince Charles was told of Diana's death he was all ears.
-------
Now there is a new pizza place, the "Paparazzi Pizza" delivery.
You don't have to give them your address, they'll find you no matter where you are.
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What's the difference between Lady Di and the East Germans?
The East Germans survived the wall.
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What's the bumper sticker on Fergie's car?
I brake for Paparazzi.
-------
What happens when you french kiss a fairy tale Princess?
The frog turns into a wall and croaks.
-------
Mike Tyson has agreed to fight Prince Charles for his next boxing match.
It seems that no one else has big enough ears to go 12 rounds.
-------
Why did the Princess cross the road?
Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
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What do Di and Freddie Mercury have in common?
Both had to die to get away from Queen.