The Eternal Questions of Life

1. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
2. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill themselves, is it considered a hostage situation?
3. Is there another word for synonym?
4. Why did the fish take the ceiling away?
5. When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their picket signs?
6. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
7. Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
8. Why do they report power outages on TV?
9. What do you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?
10. Is it possible to be totally partial?
11. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
12. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
13. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
14. Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
15. If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their headlights off?
16. If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
17. When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?
18. Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
19. If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
20. When companies ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?
21. If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

And, here's some more:
* Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
* Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
* Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
* Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
* Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
* How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
* If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
* If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
* If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
* You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?
* Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
* Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
* You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
* If you throw your pet cat out your car window would that be called CAT LITTER?
* If you choke a Smurf, What color would it turn?